Alright guys, this is a big one so pull up a chair, you need to really wrap your minds around this.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a new couple exchange the word love like its just another word, heard a couple exchange the word only to find one member of the couple isn’t faithful, people who say they love their significant other but don’t like them in reality, people who don’t know each other who exchange the word like oxygen, and people who tell another they love them in order to get what they want from the other. It’s time to bring it back for what it is. Love, is not just a word.  Love is everything… I know I’m being vague but I’ll clear things up, just keep reading. 

I recently asked a man I’ve loves for as long as I can remember, what love was in his opinion. I’m ways his response wasn’t what I expected but he said, “love is no matter what happens I’d always die/ or be there for that person”.  He’s not wrong but that’s only a fraction of what love should be if you’re saying it to your woman… love is a promise of sorts. I don’t tell many people I love them because as a woman, the word love carries a lot of weight. If I tell you love you, yes it does mean I would die for you and will always be here for you but it means so much more at the same time. It’s my confession to letting my walls down to let another person in, when in a relationship it’s a promise to be faithful, it’s allowing another to be my other half through lifes chaotic ups and downs.  When I say I love you to my partner, it means I actually enjoy him and want him to be a constant in my life, its an allowance to cross all barriers no matter where I am in life, if I love you and say it out loud it means that at my very worst I want and need YOU for comfort and at my very best I want and need YOU to be by my side to celebrate. When love is real forgiveness happens when mistakes are made and flaws are meaningless. True love is unconditional, meaning there is literally nothing the person you love can do or say to make you feel less of a need for their presence in your life. Don’t get me wrong, things don’t have to be perfect for love to be real, I’m not saying that if you fight sometimes your love isnt real, but what do you do when you fight? If you run to a bar or hop online and talk to other girls because you were mad, that isn’t love. If you storm off, sulk but come back from it, never losing the gut feeling of need for your woman, congratulations, you really love her and deserve to tell her as much so you can reap the rewards.

The problem with telling your woman you love her when it doesn’t run true is that you’re essentially encouraging her to dream about you, to invest herself in you and your future as a couple or family… you’re setting her up to fall apart when she comes to the realization that you weren’t honestly in love with her while she was completely in love with you because women NEED to be loved. It’s another one of those sick primortal things we possess, when we are told we are loved, it allows us to be happy in a freer sense. It’s someone’s admittance that they need us and more so, WANT us. It’s an internal mother instinct, we need to be needed. Women will take care of eveeyone around them by instinct, often selflessly so at the end of the day, we need one person to out US above every other human on earth, one person who cares about our well-being without our doing anything other than being alive. When you tell your woman you love her, you’re committing to being that person whether you realize it or not. SHE may not even realize it until things fall apart, and if you’re using love as a word your relationship WILL fall apart, because where love isnt real, things will always crumble under the pressure of time.  The biggest issue is that false love destroys women because every time a woman falls out of relationship where she assumed love was real but somehow realized it wasn’t, it causes her irreparable damage.  Every time it changes how she keeps up her walls with other, how she trusts, how she BELIEVES in love… don’t be that guy. 

I know, now you’re thinking you don’t want to be the guy who kills love but if you DON’T say it, she will eventually become iterate and you’re just trying to avoid the drama. It’s not as hard as you think. Be honest. If your honesty pushes her over the edge and she leaves you for it, chances are she wasn’t a good woman anyway so count your losses and move on. A good woman will appreciate it if you tell her you don’t want to use the “L” word until you know its real because you want it to mean something, she will understand and embrace the opportunity for you to get to know each other on a different level. And if you never feel it?  Say so so you can both decide where to go from there because you both deserve to know and feel real love. What will destroy your woman irreparably is you hiding what your feeling, even if you think you’re protecting her by continuing because you know she loves you. Think about it boys, you owe her honesty regardless of what that means.

Get it guys? This is for you too ladies, if you don’t feel at least a good portion of what I said love is, DON’T SAY I LOVE YOU, change starts with you, save the world from the destruction broken hearts can cause, end the cycle… 😀 Seriously though, only say I love you if you mean it and no one needs to get hurt.

Remember boys, married or not, happy wife, happy life!

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3 thoughts on “Love, not just a word

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